10 ways to trim your guest list without hurting anyone’s feelings
Based on guest lists I’ve seen in the past and being in the process of planning my own wedding, I found these quite helpful! Having a very large guest list can get really expensive really quickly, from food, to seating, to wedding favors…the numbers just keep adding up!
- Have you talked to or seen this person in the last 6 months?
If they live far away then I can understand not seeing someone for long periods of time, but you can always call, text, or be really old fashioned and send snail mail.
- Are you or the groom related to this person?
If so, how close of a relation? I am only reaching out as far as 2nd cousins. Otherwise I will have a guest list much larger than what I want. I have a large family and 2nd cousins are who i keep in touch with regularly.
- Coworkers or Close Friends?
This is the question I have to keep asking my fiance. If the job wasn’t there would you still be friends and communicate? If the answer is no, I don’t know, or probably not, don’t invite them.
- Would you miss this person if they weren’t there?
This one is easy enough. If your answer is yes, then by all means invite them. I have some close friends I made in college that I would be devastated if they weren’t there to share my special day with me.
- Will family create drama if this person is/isn’t invited?
If your parents are paying for the wedding they do have some say in who is or isn’t invited. If they really dislike someone you want there and it is just going to cause a fuss and possibly a scene at the wedding, I’m sorry but they are out! I can promise you don’t want that to be what all your guests remember about your wedding day.
- Will they help make your wedding more fun?
If they are the kind of people that are going to stay on the dance floor all night and keep your party going, why wouldn’t you want them there? No one wants a “Debby Downer” that just sits alone at their table and doesn’t help add to the fun atmosphere you want to create.
- Physically address the person/persons you intend to invite on the invitation.
Never have the invitation say “Brown Family.” It makes it seem like the whole family is invited when you really just want the parents and not the children to attend. Physically put the intended invitees names on the invitation.
- Don’t have a plus one spot on the RSVP.
If you aren’t giving everyone the option of bringing a plus one, don’t have it on the RSVP. Plus ones will easily sky rocket your number of guests and could leave you with a bunch of people at your wedding that you don’t even know. Unless your guest and their significant other have been together for years, you can use the motto “if there’s no ring, you don’t bring.” That’s when you go back to #7 and put the significant others name on the invitation as well.
- Have an adult only wedding.
Having your guests leave the kids at home will significantly reduce your number of guests. This also allows the adults to fully enjoy the wedding and reception without the worry of looking after children.
- Have a Waiting List.
When you start getting your RSVPs back and you have a lot of “nos” or “regrets,” send invitations to people on the waiting list based on your desire for them to be there.